On my sixth birthday, my mom gave birth to my baby brother. It was one of the happiest days of my life. My family was in total disarray. My father had disappeared and my family from San Francisco and Martinez were taking care of me and all I could think of was, "I get to be a big sister".
We had a tradition in my old neighborhood. Because all the houses had been constructed around huge picture windows that looked out onto our front porches, whenever a new baby came to a household the neighborhood kids were introduced to the new baby through that window. The new mom would hold the newborn in her lap and all us kids would gather on the front porch to see the baby. I wanted to be the one standing next to the mom. I wanted those kids on MY front porch. I didn't like being an only child - I wanted a baby in our household.
The day I got to do that is stuck in my memory forever. I was just so darn proud. It happened on New Year's Eve. My brother had been born on December 26, 1961 and I got to be the big sister in the picture window December 31st, 1961. My world was forever changed.
The next years were so wonderful. I was Sissy. He adored me and I got to protect, play with, teach and take care of the baby. Yes, our father had left us but the three of us were so united. He would sit on her lap and I would dance and sing for him. His favorite song was one I made up. "Hello Mr. Wet Pants. How are You today?". He thought I was incredibly talented. I agreed with his assessment.
Our lives have not been easy but up until very recently he was always my baby brother. I did not agree with how he decided to live his life and he thought I was a big bore. However, I always love him no matter what and every birthday I knew there was someone else on the planet I was exactly five years and forty-five minutes older than.
Sometimes I hated the way he behaved as an adult. He felt the same about me. However, when the call came about his illness I had no problem telling him I loved him and was here for him no matter what.
There will be only one or two people left on the planet that will get my jokes when he leaves this earth.
Christmas will never be the same for me.....but oh my gosh the Christmasses we had will live in infamy and I am so damn grateful for every year we had together.
Good bye, baby brother. Sissy loves you. Please, say hi to Mom for us...I have a feeling you are going to beat Dad there but Grandma and Grandpa, Uncle Jerry and all the rest are waiting for you.
Please, help the Niners get to the Superbowl this year, okay?
John Stephen Shaw
12/26/1961 - 12/23/2023
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