I have waited to write on the recent Supreme Court decision that overturned Roe v. Wade. I chose to wait because, once again, I find myself at odds with both sides of the political aisle. For many "pro life" Catholics, I am not Catholic Enough. For ALL of my 'pro choice' friends, I am the enemy.
Unless one is a new reader, my history is common knowledge. I am a post abortive woman. I lived such a horrific lifestyle, bereft of moral compass, physical health, common sense and self-love. I 'chose' to abort my children (that's right - there was more than one) because I honestly did not think I had a choice. I did not trust my parents though I know now that they would have helped me. I did not trust myself. One abortion was done at the end of a fist. When I sat on an exam table no one at the 'Women's Clinic' commented on my bruises or the sad, dull expression on my face. No one there asked a simply question, "Do you want to be here?".
It took years for me to heal from these horrible choices. Today, despite an occasional sob or feeling of anguish (it still pops up) I have accepted that my children (all have names) now wait for me in heaven. I pray with them every day. I have received absolution through the Sacramental Life of Holy Mother Church. I have received healing through my embracing of the philosophy offered by the appropriate 12 step program. Today, I am okay.
It is my past that shapes me. I left conservative groups behind because of what felt like a lack of caring about people like me. Having to sit through discussions about the women who get abortions was difficult. I did not want to always have to preface every contribution I made to a discussion with a revelation about my past. I wanted to keep my anonymity.
It hurt me deeply, however, to hear Catholics speak to my selfishness, my disregard for my children, my poor choices, my lack of regard for society - all the labels they used for people like me - and never once hear them give any kind of thought to how it happened. Why did a young girl, well catechized, educated in schools the Church provided make those choices? How did she fall so far? I was, on the most part, dismissed by them as inconsequential.
Not by all, of course. I want to make it clear that there have always been elements in the mainstream ProLife movement that have tried to provide for women like me,
When I left the GOP as a political party I had nowhere to go (I thought) because the Democratic Party pushed another type of tyranny. It still does. Abortion on demand is not the answer. However their very talking points make it clear that when they use the term "ProChoice" they are pro abortion.
In my state - California - the Governor wants us to be a 'sanctuary' - not for women who need help but for women who want to get an abortion. He touts the idea that an abortion is the ONLY help these women need.
Large corporations - Amazon, Starbucks, etc. - would rather send their female employees (and those females who now identify as males but still get pregnant) to another state to get an abortion than to seriously invest in a culture that promotes families...all families....no matter what those families look like: living wages, good onsite daycare, prenatal, natal, postnatal care, family leave, medical benefits that support a culture of LIFE. They oppose unions but support sending a woman to get an abortion.
Roe was bad law - it was only a matter of time before the decision was overturned. What is worse, however, is the reaction of both extremes.
A choice that has only one option is not a choice. Being pro life is more than being anti abortion. A society that says to a woman, "you cannot achieve your dreams if you have that child" is an ugly, evil society.
I choose life - and this is why I joined the American Solidarity Party. I am willing to pay the taxes necessary to promote a society where a pregnant person is cherished, nurtured, loved, supported and is not afraid to give birth. I am against a society that tells a woman that there is only one solution - either kill or give birth - and then walks away from her. I want to build a true Culture of Life.