On March 1st, 2024 the family will gather to bury my brother's ashes next to our mother, Laura, and our uncle, Jerry. When it is my turn I will join my brother in that same plot which is 'built for two'.
The past weeks have been one lesson in humility after another. Saying good-bye to John privately that day with our parish priest will stay with me forever. I had promised him that would happen when he was home and I kept my promise. My next promise is to make sure he is buried next to Mom.
My days as someone's big sister are over. Now I get to just be an aunt, a friend, a cousin...nothing else and nothing exciting and you know what? That is just fine with me.
I've been dealing with health issues since January and now am being sent to a specialist - this darn pneumonia won't go away. It's kept me mostly housebound with a few forays into the world. I have seen every darn episode of BONES and LAW AND ORDER and I am sure ready to regain my health and go back into the world.
In other words, the word of the year for me (so far) is HUMILITY. I am reminded regularly that all I am today is a result of the Grace of a loving God because of myself and by myself I don't seem to be able to do much. I still have to get well. I still get to miss my family. I am truly dependent upon my wonderful friends. Of myself...by myself....I get to watch still another episode of CRIMINAL MINDS.
I will say good-bye to my brother this Friday. I will make sure I have walked as far as I can with him. I will go to the gathering and I will be fine....and then I will go home to rest.