Oh how easy it is to forget what one can do with suffering!
Today I read a reminder of how protecting myself - the body - leaves me stunted in my ability to live. The reminder was timely because I have been trying so hard to stay safe, believing that being safe is a right I have rather than a state of being that comes and goes.
I do not have a right to safety; rather, what I have is an opportunity every day to live united with my God. My God understands what life hands me because He experienced it as a human - being tired, angry, lonely and hungry. Ultimately, He suffered the greatest evil ever committed on the planet He created, that of His own murder at the Hands of His own creatures.
So I have to remember that God knows. God knows that when another one of His creatures attacks it is going to sting, it is going to shake my feeling of safety and belonging. If I can remember that HE knows then when it happens I can react better. Once again, I can be a better Leslie.
That is always the goal, right? I want to be better. I really do want to grow. I want to be what I want to see - a woman of grace and dignity.
Lord, help me accept Your Grace so that I may live outwardly rather than hunched over defending myself. Help me trust You.
Lord, I believe.
Help my unbelief.