I am sad. Life is bumpy. God is good.

 I never want to be one of those women who deny their feelings or pretend nothing is wrong. I am well aware that "It"  - meaning, my life - could be worse.  I also am not so naive as to think that every person I meet is going to like me. I don't even expect that of myself so why would I expect it of others?

Life today is fine.  I have a safe place to live. I have dogs who like hanging out with me. I have good friends. I am healthy. My car works, even if I have to restrict my use of it because of gas prices.

Life is, however, not without its challenges. Not being liked is one thing. Being actively campaigned against is another. Watching someone take a stance of 'get her out of here' is hurtful. To pretend it is not would be lying.

Every morning, I offer my life to God. I ask Jesus to relieve me of the desire for love and acceptance. Yet, when the opportunity to experience what that translates into presents itself, I shrink from the pain. In the suffering is the hope of salvation. Yet I don't want to suffer. I just want to go along quietly, do my service and live my life without having to dodge arrows launched at me by petty, angry men determined to keep me out of a group.

I pray for him. I pray that he finds the peace he needs to just live and be kind. I recognize that his anger and vendetta towards me if all about him, that I am not engaged and that my standing up to him months ago is what set the ball rolling. I know that, but what was I to do? Continue to suffer the verbal abuse disguised as 'teasing'? 

Perhaps I should have done just that; just let him continue to beat me up and verbally assault me. 

Telling women to stand up for themselves is great. Be sure to tell them there will be a price to pay and that will be the price of rejecting and attack and revenge. I knew I was taking a chance when I stood firm with him and quietly said, "Stop doing that" but for me to pretend it has not been a tough price to pay would be a lie.

I walk with Jesus and I know I am protected. I just wish it didn't hurt so much.

Jesus, I trust in You.

Again, the Power of God is Misunderstood

 On March 19th, 2026 (The Feast of St. Joseph) Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu stated that "history proves that, unfortunately and unhappily, Jesus Christ has no advantage over Genghis Khan".  His argument,  poorly stated, is that in situations of global conflict moral superiority does NOT inherently ensure survival if one side is militarily stronger or more ruthless than the other.  

Of course, he walked back the statement later but the damage had been done.  The anti-semitic branch of the far right (the Carlsons and the Owens of the podcast sphere) jumped on that like a duck on a june bug.

I heard it for the first time this morning when I was listening to a homily at Mass.  The visiting priest - a Franciscan Friar - was careful to establish why he was quoting it, assuring the congregation that no political statement was intended by his doing so, and he incorporated it nicely into his message for the day.

But, as always, it got me a'thinkin.   Afterall, I am a Dominican and that's kinda what we do....think things through and discuss and contemplate and then we share the fruits of that contemplation with others.

so, here goes:

Christians do not have the same definition of 'winning' as those who are not Christians.

I imagine it is very confusing for those wondering about us.  How exactly did we exist, underground, in a country like Japan or Russia or China or England?  How is it possible that we can emerge after hundreds of years of baptizing our children in secret and praying the Rosary on our fingers while standing in bread lines or bowing in someone else's house of worship virtually unscathed and start building (or rebuilding) our Churches, establishing our schools and celebrating our feast days as though nothing had happened? That despite government laws and regulations designed specifically to wipe us out or ugly false religions crucifying our children in front of our eyes we exist, clinging to the Sacraments we can perform, handing on the Truth to our young ones and waiting patiently for a priest to appear to marry us, bury our dead and give us The Eucharist in the Mass.

Part of it is our Jewish Heritage - a heritage we sometimes overlook.  To put it bluntly we were taught by the best how to survive no matter what and so....we do.

We are here.  We have endured despite Empire after Empire, Kings or Queens determined to destroy us and secular governments convinced that all the evils of society could be eliminated if the Catholic Church was destroyed.  We have endured despite pedophile priests and Q Anon catechists telling people Joe Biden and Pope Francis met once a month to cook and eat infants.  We exist despite the military might of any and all countries and false religions determined to kill us.  Heck, to paraphrase that one Cardinal who laughed at, who was it? Napoleon?  We have survived OURSELVES.

The might of Jesus Christ and His Bride, The Church, is rooted in more than simple moral superiority.  Lots of people can claim moral superiority to lots of stuff.  Our might, our advantage, is that w stand until - until He comes again.  

Is the Prime Minister right in that a country dedicated to God first and power second should be a strong one?  Militarily, economically and philosophically strong in order to defend themselves and others when needed?  Yes.  Of course.  Bad guys exist and defense is morally acceptable.

But don't mistake defeat on the battle field or in the boardroom as a true victory.  Jesus is winning. It might not seem so from the looks of things but for those of us in the pew this morning, listening to that homily and preparing ourselves to receive Him in the Eucharist, we know the outcome.

See, we didn't just write the Book, we read it every Sunday and we know the ending.

Our side wins.

Ash Wednesday Approaches

 I get far too much pleasure out of watching a group of people known for bullying other start to implode and engage in a kind of civil war.  I have watched it happen over and over again.  People intent on being right start to be ignored by the mainstream and have no one to beat up anymore.  They then turn on each other and start a kind of purging.  They corral their own set of flying monkeys and then release them upon each other.  Inboxes fill, online screeching gets louder and louder and then one group implodes.  They begin to lose their ability to shock or hold anyone's attention.  Gradually they fade away.  Sometimes they are forced into exile because they go too far with their ugliness - think Alex Jones - but most of the time they simply fade into obscurity.

As we approach the season of Lent for 2026, I wonder how many of the leaders of these factions are contemplating what to offer to the Father for 40 days?

I have two penances I have decided to practice.  The first is that I am going to offer my need to complain about people hurting me.  No more complaining.  Let them be as mean and as petty as they want - I will only complain to God.  

The second was imposed by our Prioress - I will be praying the Dominican Rosary every day for Lent.  I pray the Rosary every day as it is but I pray the one used by the common lay people.  The Domican Rosary is shorter, really, so I can do both.  Besides, I use the Hallows app for the first one and I don't want to give up praying every day with Mark Wahlberg.

I have also decided to pray for the leaders of these factions.  I don't belong to either one but they sure seem to be causing each other a lot of pain.  It also seems to be intentional, although I suspect one of the people involved is having a very public nervous breakdown a la Kanye West.  The Flying Monkeys need to be lured back to their roosts.  The fighting should stop.

That will be my prayer this Lent.  I will pray that this need some people have to act like 8th grade Mean Girls stop.  That they become open to the Grace of a Loving God.  That they just stop with the behavior and aim solidly for Spiritual Progress.

Wouldn't that be AWESOME?

Not Worrying About Myself So Much - that is the Goal

 I don't make New Year Resolutions.  What I like to do is reflect back over the previous year and then ask God to guide me towards what I need to be conscious of in order to make true spiritual progress.

I don't know if I got an answer from God but I do know that the last few days have focused my thoughts and energies on other people in trouble.  They are hurting from illness or worried about other people in their lives who are having difficulties.  I have found myself drawn to them, waking up at 0300 and being reminded to pray a decade of the Rosary for them, reaching out to them during the day.  That's really not like me - I get busy and my good intentions of the morning often get ground into dust as I rush through the day.  

When I do think of others, especially those in real trouble right now, my own worries about who is saying what about me or who is hurting me or me me me me ME vanish.  I don't remember this on my own.  How foolish is that?  I remember this during morning prayer, when I am asking God to guide me through out the day.  I get that God Shot, that spiritual shove that serves as a reminder of my true purpose on earth.  Love God, clean up my own messes, serve others.  That's it.  That is all I have to do, each day, to live a good solid life.  Love God, no matter how God shows up that day.  Clean up my own messes, no matter how much I don't want to get my hands dirty.  Serve others, no matter how inconvenient.  If I do this, even unwillingly, I can have a happy life.

I will never been a big time professional Catholic guru.  No one will invite me to the White House or to speak at a big convention and lead people to the True Altar Call of The Eucharist.

Honestly, that is not my ambition - if it ever really was - but I do want to live something beyond a life of quiet desperation waiting to join my family in heaven; rather, I want to live a life of QUIET CONSECRATION.  I want to be a pencil in the Hand that created the Universe, to paraphrase Mother Teresa.  I just want to be useful the way God wants me to be useful.

I guess that is my New Year's resolution.

Would You Just STOP?????

 Have you ever wanted to grab someone by the hair, swing them around a little and then scream into their face, "WOULD YOU JUST KNOCK IT OFF?"

Asking for a friend.

It's probably the holidays and the stress and the grief that is inevitable and blah blah blah but I have almost zero tolerance for folderol right now.

My back and hip hurt, I am stuffed up and it's too cold outside for me to walk the dogs more than ten minutes at a time.  I am grumpy and out of sorts.  People are sooooooo stupid right now.  WHO CARES about what Candace Owens says - the woman is rich and crazy!  STOP trying to champion MTG - she still thinks Jews power Space Lasers that cause forest fires.  Charlie Kirk is NOT ever going to be canonized by the Catholic Church!  Men wearing artful make up and wearing a dress are NOT women and do not belong on women's sports teams or in women's locker rooms - and other men should stop making them feel UNSAFE if they change their clothes and shower where they are supposed to change their clothes and shower!  Your part of Italy is not better or more authentic that the part MY people live in and the color of your skin does NOT automatically assign you ANYTHING in terms of character.  JUST STOP IT.

It's like that great line from Moonstruck - SNAP OUT OF IT!

Okay, okay...enough.  Why do I feel like this?  Eh....a variety of reasons.  More importantly, what do I do with these feelings?  How do I act despite these feelings?  Where do I take my inner turmoil for relief?

The easy answer is God.  The 'how' is through prayer and ACTION.

Or maybe....INaction.

I do not roll my eyes when someone talks, I smile when I want to cry and I do not make snarky mean remarks even though the remarks I could make would be SOOOOOOO funny.  They might make people laugh, but they are barbed and nasty and why would I want even my enemies to feel like I feel right now?

Neither do I pretend with God or the persons in my life who really count that I am just fine, doncha know...don't you worry about me, by golly...I is PErFeCT.  Nope.  Tell the truth and shame the devil.

I BEG God in prayer to redirect my thinking, give me the grace I need for right action and (most importantly) I lean into the Sacramental Liturgical Life offered to me by Holy Mother Church.  Confession, Adoration in the middle of the night when I wake up in tears missing...well....EVERYBODY, the Eucharist.  I remember that I do have a purpose here on earth because if I did not have one God would bring me home.  I trust in Him. He does have my back and He does know what is good for me.  And I keep going 'no matter what'.

I write a gratitude list every day because I KNOW I have much for which to be grateful.  I am much happier that I feel, really, because I understand that emotions are not necessarily wrong but neither are they necessarily the truth.  

You, the people who read my little blog, help me when you reach out.  I am so grateful.  My dogs are healthy, I have great friends around me.....this too shall pass.

Lord, forgive my grumpiness.  Lord, thank You for all You have provided for me.  Let me be a Channel of THY peace today.

As for the rest of ya?

KNOCK IT OFF.