On Monday, June 17th, I will have a hip replaced. You have no idea how much I am looking forward to this as the pain I have endured for the past 8 months has made me into a monster on bad days and a pale imitator of saints on good days. I just want to stop hurting, to be able to stand up and put on my make up, stand at the stove and cook dinner for my mom - and I want to take my dog for a walk. I miss being able to sit, stand, lay down and otherwise exist without hurting.
I am blessed in that last year we purchased a one story home so I get to recover without having to go up and down the stairs anymore. I am blessed with amazing friends and neighbors who have done things like taken Robbie out every morning and cleaned my cat's litter box as well as put my garbage cans out. I am also blessed because my mom is still alive and in very good shape. I am not going to be alone in my home while I recover and that makes me a lot better off than other people my age.
Which brings me to a point someone in my political group, the American Solidarity Party, made recently about supporting and encouraging multi-generational family living.
I am going to go out on a limb here and declare that I am all for it.
There was a time when families occupying one home, or one building or living close by each other was not seen as an indication of poor relationships. They weren't called co-dependent and therapy was not recommended. Instead, Grandma and Grandpa lived up the street, or above them in the flat on the second floor or in the in law apartment above the garage. Aunts and Uncles were close by - people attended the same church or parish and interactions were considered natural. Nobody was looked down on living with their mom or dad until they finished school or got married and, in fact, sharing homes even when one HAD gotten married was not such a horrific idea either - young mothers had help, young fathers had someone they could have a beer with after work and people had each other's backs.
After WW2 the family began to evolve. It also began to disintegrate. People were so damaged by the unrelenting stress of combat experienced during the 1900's and now that our own morals began to fall apart. Drugs, alcohol, the sexualization of society, everything seemed to help us fall apart. Women got tired of being left holding the bag. The idea emerged that the ability to prevent and terminate their pregnancies would result in having the same 'freedom' of men. Instead, the wide use of artificial birth control and abortion on demand lead to women and children being devalued by all men, not just the immoral ones, and suddenly today we are struggling to say, "You do not get to treat us like trash and then say its okay because we want to dress, speak and act like trash. Instead, you have to treat us with respect and don't you DARE tell us we have to behave in any way that might garner that respect. If you do? You are oppressing us".
If that message sounds garbled? It is garbled.
As the family fell apart, so did the idea of depending upon each other. In fact, dependence itself became a kind of pathology. Asking for help is ok as long as it is not asking for help from someone you are related to - go to a therapist, go to a home health agency. For God's sake, don't ask your brother or uncle or mom or sister for help. You might be considered co-dependent and have to go to another meeting.
Anyway....
I think we need to rebuild the family. Maybe one way to do that is to let people know it is okay to ask each other for help.
I am asking you all for prayers. My recovery will be a long one but I am not worried. I have my Mom at home, my brother taking me to the surgery and I have friends and neighbors nearby to help.
Look around and see what you can do for your immediate circle.
Talk to you all later!
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