I recently spoke with a young man who had decided, after decades of being away from The Eucharist, to return to the practice of The Catholic Faith. His story is not unusual. He lived outside the teachings of the Faith for many years despite being brought up 'in Church'. He lapsed into alcoholism and drug addiction and found relief through a 12 step program which emphasized a personal relationship with a God of his own understanding. That lead him back to the Truth of Jesus being Yahweh Moving Among Us which, in turn, lead him back to The Church.
When this man began his journey Home, he contacted me because I am very open from the podium that I am a practicing Catholic today and not 'recovering' from that - which always gets a laugh from the gang in the meeting rooms. He shared with me his worries and his fears and I shared with him my own journey. I also predicted that he would be purged in a very painful way but that if he would stand fast and walk through the fire it would be okay. I referred him to 1st Corinthians 3:15 and told him to hang tight because it was going to be a bumpy ride.
He thanked me but assured me that he had such wonderful friends in the program and outside in the 'real' world and they were so supportive of him that he was not in the least bit worried.
Last night he contacted me in tears. Every single friend he had inside the program was not just distancing themselves from him, but outright laughing and verbally abusing him for reverting to the Catholic Faith. He was experiencing the type of ostracism he had not experienced since grade school when it was decided by the pack of wolves called children he was forced to be around that he was a 'fag' and too weird to hang around with - something that lead him to find acceptance in the bottle and the pipe. He was also being made fun of by family members - he was a fanatic now, they say, and what about all those horrible pedophile priests and that stupid Pope that loves Moslems more than his own people?
SO....welcome to my world...the world of the revert.
Now comes the hard part, I told him. You have got to look at your behavior and see where you have set the ball rolling.
Inevitably it comes out that he did what I did when I first returned Home - he tried to shove it down the throat of everyone he came in contact with and call it evangelizing. He made some real tactical errors in that regard, nothing that cannot be repaired and learned from but definitively errors of the type normally made by an enthusiastic newcomer to anything. He admitted to me that he has been a bit overeager in presenting his case for being a Catholic and we came up with a plan for him to make amends to those he had offended and find himself a solid spiritual director, OUTSIDE the rooms of his 12 step group, that can aid him in ways a sponsor cannot.
We also looked at those who are rejecting him because he has chosen The Eucharist and the service of Christ over the life he was living. Not all of those people are rejecting him because he is over zealous; rather, many are rejecting him because he has made a lifestyle choice that is not only unpopular but flies in the face of today's societal norms. It is not politically correct to chose a life of celibacy unless one is married, to try to suffer in silence and good cheer (something I am really horrible at, by the way) and to forgive an enemy while still wanting justice for crimes committed. It is contradictory to say a vow means more than a feeling especially in today's world and the idea of being obedient for the sake of obedience and humility is so off the charts in terms of weird that no one can wrap their heads around the concept. It is completely subversive in America today to acknowledge that ALL human persons, no matter their age or how small or their abilities, have an inherent dignity that needs to be acknowledged and respected regardless of their behavior. The 'love the sinner/hate the sin' slogan is unpopular for one reason - nothing is a sin anymore unless it is supporting a political party you don't like.
I told him what had happened for me. I lost a lot - friends, family members, acquaintances - and it hurt. I lost them because I made mistakes and because they could not hang around me anymore and handle my love for my Faith. I told him that proclaiming my love for Christ and the Church He founded means I am watched like a hawk and if I fail to be perfect that is used as a sword against me and I am not forgiven. It is what it is....but it is not the whole story.
In the book I use in my 12 step program it speaks to a fellowship growing up around me that will be loving, supportive and real. It will take time, because we are people who normally do not mix, but it will happen. That has proven to be true and it is true in 'the real world' as well.
People call me Mother, Sister and Daughter who are not related to me by blood. Members of my family who ARE believers embrace me and the others go their own way. No one expects me to be something I am not, and I extend that to them as well though my prayer is that they will return to The Church before my mother dies. She is 97....and this prayer may keep her alive forever.
My friend left one lifestyle behind for a new one. He is sober, he is walking the path of Truth and he is finding out that the Pearl really does have a great price. It is a price that must be paid, however, because if we are not willing to pay it, we will miss out on the biggest Treasure of all.
Please keep all the travelers in prayer.
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