It is normal for people to assume I am anti-abortion because I am a Catholic. That is a dangerous assumption nowadays as many people proclaiming the Creed at Sunday Mass are actually pro-abortion. However, I can understand why the assumption is made and to be honest I applaud them for making it because it means I have been clear and concise that I am Catholic. A real Catholic. A Catholic Out Loud.
The road to my present life has not been an easy one, however, and that is why it is important for me to tell my story over and over again. I endure much for being honest with you. The latest term is, I believe, 'slut-shaming'. It usually comes from the direction of the Left but is not exclusive to that political stripe. It works like this: a person who has turned their life around admits publicly to have sinned against the lifestyle they now have chosen to live. Therefore, they cannot be believed or honored for their experience; rather, it must be pointed out how horrible they are to have ever lived that way and it, furthermore, it must be suggested that this lack of moral behavior renders their thoughts on morality moot.
If I was a member of the Chesterton Society I might shout, "BALDERDASH".
Today, because of the recent actions in different states on legal abortion - some states enshrining it to the point of making it legal to kill a child moments before its birth and others making it virtually impossible to get a legal abortion - people are up in arms over the issue. The Left is screaming in pain, because it is obvious to them that more of the country is pro-life than they would like to see. The Right is shrieking because of threatened boycotts and sex strikes. All in all it is one big Yell Fest and lost in all the noise is the real question no one wants to address:
Why would a woman opt to have an abortion?
The reason we do not want to address this question is because the short answer is 'none of your business'. It is a private decision, people say, between a woman and her doctor or health care provider but the reality is that unless we address this question the underlying wounds will never be dressed and allowed to heal.
We choose abortion because we do not think we have any other choice.
Whether it is because the baby is diagnosed as ill and we think they are going to suffer in life, or we live in poverty, or we are drug addicts or alcoholics, or we are sex trafficked victims, victims of violent crimes like rape or incest, we choose abortion because we do not think any other option is really okay.
We think we won't be able to care for a sick child and so we do not think to ask about palliative care for those children facing life with a genetic illness.
We think we won't be able to look at a child who was created through a sexual crime and love them and so we do not think that someone may want to raise that child, we don't ask for the therapy and help we need to heal from the crime. We are told, sometimes by people who love us, that killing the child will put us at ease.
We are told that an abortion will make it easier on us in the long run, and then we spend the rest of our live defending that choice any time someone brings up abortion. This only ends up proving that we have not forgotten, that it did not make life easier but rather it left a hole in our hearts we cannot fill.
We are marched into clinics at the point of a gun or a knife or a fist and no one in that clinic asks about our bruises or why we, at age 14 or 16, have a 26 year old 'boyfriend' waiting in the parking lot for 'it' to be over.
In the case of Abby Johnson, we honestly believe we are doing our Christian Duty by helping women through a difficult time - until we see what an abortion actually is and how the child is trying to escape the vacuum.
No one really asks us - instead they say things like, "Once I can see, but four? What the hell is wrong with you and how dare you be pro life now?".
Woman currently shrieking about this issue are doing so because they see being able to kill their child as freedom - the freedom afforded to men that is not, by virtue of biology, afforded to women. Men can walk away from a pregnancy. Women cannot. If we can, then we can be like them - free.
Yet their walking away from pregnancy is NOT freedom - it is sin, it is ugly, it is wrong and it is immoral. Our being able to do the same (we can't - we still have to undergo a medical procedure and then heal from it) is NOT FREEDOM. It is sin, it is ugly, it is wrong and it is immoral.
I do not believe women need to be shamed for being post abortive. I am not ashamed of being post abortive. I do think, however, that we have got to have the willingness to ask women why they want an abortion, to see how we can help them, to put an end to the cycle of abuse that hides behind a banner of Reproductive Rights.
This means, therefore, that we have to be more than anti-abortion if we want to call ourselves Pro Life. Pro Life should mean wanting to make living meaningful, attractive, affordable, healthy and possible for all people regardless of where they live, what they look like, what their 'issues' are and how they were created. A child of rape cannot be less valuable than the child of a stable home. Both must be allowed to be born and to thrive in the world. We have to be a community, to come together to protect our most vulnerable - from Womb to Tomb, Sperm to Worm as the Jets in West Side Story would say.
This means we can start with restrictions - reasonable ones - on abortion but we cannot stop there. We have got to stop making our educational system a battle ground and get back to solid basics so our children can read, write and do math. We have to make housing affordable so that, while not everyone will get a house or a chicken in their pot, they can live in a clean place without worrying about bullets flying through the window on a summer night. We have to allow people to adopt children and support that adoption process with tax incentives. Medical coverage, basic medical coverage, must be made a reality so that children can be healthy and strong, and develop in such a way as to want to make the next generation healthy and strong. Religious Freedom and Tolerance must be promoted - and that means that we give children information about their Faith Tradition in the proper way, either through parochial schools or homeschooling options, and not label people bigots or haters if their Tradition rejects the latest politically correct cause.
Easy, right?
I would challenge people to look at their own backyards right now. Show up at City Council meetings or those meet and greets put on by the Washington Politician and start asking questions. When you have a community event, go...make yourself available to your city or your county and reach out to help when you can. Let women and men struggling in this world see that they are not alone. Volunteer.
Currently, I work in a field that allows me to help shape the minds and hearts of the smallest members of the Catholic Church. I see children from broken homes, with serious physical problems, with anxieties, with language barriers and what I know I can do is suit up and show up every day outside that building and greet them with smile and hug and encouragement. I can see them at Mass and acknowledge them. I can accept their gifts at the end of the year with a big smile and a thank you. I can make sure they behave, that they learn how to pray, that they are prepared for their Sacraments.
And I can ask the children I aborted to pray with me for them...because I know my children have forgiven me...and for that, I am forever grateful.
As for the rest of us, let's not stop with 'having that abortion is her business'. Make it your business. Ask her if you can help. Give her information. Stand her wrath, her fear, her tears and her rejection. Believe it or not, it matters to her...and she will remember it, no matter what her decision...and she will remember that someone asked her and someone told her, "If you need help, I am here for you....and for your child".
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