Christmas Stories and Being a Grown UP

I had a weird weekend.  It is one of those experiences where one is unsure if it was inspired by the Holy Spirit or crafted as a tool of division by Lucifer.   Either one, the experience is over and now I get to deal with the aftermath.  Some decisions will need to be made that could change everything as I have known it for the past 15 years.  No matter what there is going to be a little pain.  For someone such as me (a person who works hard at avoiding pain at all costs) making a decision like this is really difficult.  It means being a grown up and I am lousy at that, most of the time.

I have written about this in the past.  I have never been shy about claiming my character defects when they pop up.  FEAR of being unloved, left behind, kicked out, 'not a part of' has caused me to make some horrific decisions in the past.  Today, as a sober Catholic woman of faith, grace and dignity, I get to make good decisions even while afraid.  I get to make the decision and then put the results in the Hands of God or (I prefer) into the Sacred Heart of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior.

Because it is Advent, I believe that this situation has been handed to me because it allows me to do the penance I need to do during this season.  It helps purge me of excess.  Do I trust a finite human being or do I trust Him?  Do I throw myself on the mercy of a woman who cannot open the gates of heaven for me or on the mercy of God who stepped into time and space, took on the nature of the creature He created and understands me better than anyone?

The answer is always God.  Communicating the answer in a way that is loving and kind is difficult.  What some people think is loving and kind another hears as angry and defensive. 

I am called to love rather than be loved, to understand rather than be understood. Asking the questions necessary to understand can seem intrusive and unkind.  I don't want to do that - I want to be open and loving and merciful myself.  I want to stay...but I want to stay under circumstances that are as welcoming to me as they are to the person of no faith, no religion, no God of their own understanding.

Meanwhile.....back at the ranch......

My friend, celebrated Catholic writer Christine Kildare shares with us a beautiful story from her childhood.  Entitled,  The Christmas Doll she shares with her reader the wonder that comes from humans helping humans and unfailing Faith.  Find ithere.

Enjoy!