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Monday, February 20, 2012

what a time to be Sober and Catholic

I am watching my life take off in such a strange direction.  It's all good, no doubt, but after the almost five years I spent at the old job fighting constant attacks on my character, wondering if I have what it takes to supervise and manage and climbing a GIANT mountain of Self Doubt, I am trying to get used to doing work stuff right.

I can't explain this well without sounding whiny but I am going to try.  I am succeeding.  I am not use to succeeding.  I am so grateful.  I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.  In other words, I am a bundle of contradiction.

Being a Catholic, a practicing Catholic, is difficult today.  Everything we hold dear is outside the cultural norms and many people who CALL themselves Catholic see defiance of Church Teaching as some sort of badge of honor.  So, not only am I succeeding at work I am practicing a religion that is unpopular at best and outright hated by some - and man, that can give you a headache at the end of the day.

I pray the Liturgy of The Hours with the intentions of Father Serpa, Sharon and the salvation of my family members utmost in my mind.  I find myself wondering if I will ever connect with a man who shares my love of Christ and His Church and I wish I could win the lottery so all my financial insecurities would be addressed.  And the thoughts I just expressed make me giggle at my own absurdity.

Ash Wednesday begins the Lenten Season on February 22.  I am going to give up Farmville.  I will fast on Fridays, commit to praying The Station of the Cross on Friday nights and continue praying my prayers every day.   Lent will be a chance for me to offer all my wonderful and weird insecurities to God, to do with as He will and to use them for the fulfillment of His Kingdom here on earth.

However, and I mean this, I will never really get used to those people who call themselves Catholic and take pleasure in going against The Church.  I know they have always been with us, and that The Church is a Hospital for Sinners and not a Hotel for Saints, but I just do not get the tantrums.

Congratulations, Cardinal Timothy Dolan.  And thank you for standing up for Truth and not backing down ... the next few years are going to be tough.  We will see the wheat separated from the weeds....and please, Lord, help me to stand with the Brave and the Faithful.  Remind me that being popular on Facebook and in the rooms of my 12 step program are not what will get me to heaven.

Help me, please, to be Catholic even when it is not fashionable.


Dan Hughes said...

Just know that you are not alone my wonderful sister in Christ - not spiritually nor mortally. Everything you wrote could just as easily come from my pen ;)

Now, let's see if I can figure out the word jumble so I can post this!

Leslie K. said...

Thank you, Dan! If it was easy, I guess it'd be more crowded Mass!