A few days ago Lola was attacked by a big dog. The dog had gotten away from its owner, a young lad here in my neighborhood. She was not hurt. The young man was visibly shaken by what had happened (and what could have been a tragedy). I found myself calming both him and my dog. I was afraid he would start crying - he is maybe 14 or 15 years old and a very nice young man. His Mom saw what happened and zoomed over and was as nice as nice can be - she gave me her card and said to keep her informed if there is any vet bills involved. There aren't. I made it a point to let her know the next morning that Lola is fine.
What struck me about the situation is how far I have come from the chaos that was my father's way of handling a situation. I guarantee he would have screamed that kid into a heart attack, ruined any chance of a good relationship I might have with that neighbor and otherwise embarrassed me and himself - all in the name of justifiable anger.
I cannot afford justifiable anger.
I did fine - Lola is okay and has quieted down from her high state of anxiety after the attack. She was royally pissed off about what happened but after 36 hours she has calmed down, her training is going well and she may do okay in the ring this weekend. She still has her bit of acne on the nose but it is better and I think her biggest drawback is me. I am an inexperienced handler.
This morning, however, I felt all the emotions from that day. And then something went wrong and I wanted to rip into the person who made the mistake. I could feel it - the need to just let someone have it right between the eyes.
Instead I remembered to pause and call a sister and talk with her before I did anything. Then, I was able to make the phone call without a problem and the mistake was corrected and I made a new friend. There you go...my way of life today is far better than the one I was modeled by my Dad.
I cannot afford justifiable anger.
It matters, I think, that I have chosen a new way of life but it matters more that I do my best to live the principles of that life. Without making THAT choice it just becomes another nice philosophy that means nothing. If I don't try to live it, I cannot benefit from it.
Because, guess what?
I cannot afford justifiable anger.
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