I have thoughts running through my head this morning. I don't know what will make sense and what will not but I know it is important to get the thoughts out of said head and 'onto a piece of paper' - even if this piece of paper is an online blog.
I am blessed. I am blessed for many reasons but my biggest reason is that I am no longer an Angry Catholic. I am saddened by those who are but after the past four years - since 2020 - I am firm in my internal commitment to The Church. I am not Catholic because of a blogger or a priest or a Bishop. I do not need to go looking for evidence that The Church is falling to Evil anymore like so many Catholics do. I know why I am here and I know I stay despite the people I meet who seem to want me to go.
I am blessed. My health is pretty good for a 69 year old woman. I am managing my diabetes well and I have lost the appropriate amount of weight and I can walk without too much hitch in my giddy-up. I can still clean my own home and do my own chores. I can live on my own and many people my age can no longer do that so I am so happy. I can say good-bye to those who have gone onto heaven and hope I join them someday without wishing it would happen sooner than not.
I am blessed. I know who and what I am today. I can accept guidance from those who are wiser than this gal without worrying that I am losing myself by accepting that guidance.
I am blessed. A core group of solid people are in my life. They are people who share my love for the lifestyle I adopted over three decades ago and appreciate how delicate and fragile it can be if it is not protected. I don't cheapen it by doing a little something here or there....I protect it, and so can hand on what I learn to anyone else interested.
I am blessed. I don't have to like the people who made life so hard this year with lies and attacks but I can forgive them and let them go forth and wreak their own havoc on their little corner of the earth.
I am blessed. My dogs are healthy.
I am blessed by so much.
I have a long way to go and I intend to renew my vow to walk this path with diligence this year. I want to be kinder. I want to be on it when it comes to my mistakes and correct and apologize quickly so that I do not cause harm. I want to deepen my prayer life and have sympathy for those who are still Angry and convinced the world is ending tomorrow because some idiot of a priest dressed as a clown and made a mockery of The Mass. I want to remember that these kind of abuses are allowed by God for a reason - so that people like me, who love the worship described by St. Justin Martyr o so long ago is still handed on with reverence. It's a tough assignment - to stand firm in the face of failures and do it with love. I have to take on that assignment, though, because if I don't, who?
It is 2025. I am vital and healthy and today the new year begins with the love we show to the Mother of God, the Mother of The Church. May she continue to walk with me and may I try my best to be like her.... or maybe more like one of her dear friends because I am sure I will fall short of her as my goal. I think, maybe, I just need to remember that she can be my mother now....and I can hope to be with her in heaven some day.
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