Thursday, January 2, 2020

MERRY CHRISTMAS HAPPY NEW YEAR AND OH MY GOSH THEY WON THE WEST!

This has been a very interesting Christmas season so far.  I have been sick, off and on (more on than off) with some sort of bug or virus or bacterial bronchitis since Thanksgiving.  The woman who always has tons of sick leave 'on the books' now has none and while it is lovely to have a boss that says, "Oh no please stay home and take care of yourself so no one else gets sick" the reality is that I don't work, I don't get paid.

I am on day two of a five day cleanse.  I chose to do it because I have had to take so many antibiotics and so much otc cold medicine just to get through the holidays that I feel like my body is full of sludge.  So it is Dr. KellyAnn to the rescue and as I sip lemon drink (hot...I love hot lemon drinks) and down green smoothies, I hope that this 64 year old woman can get some relief from the perils of winter illness.

My team won the NFC Western Division.

I am still trying to soak all that in...MY team - the San Francisco Forty Niners who have been on a downward spiral for so long that winning 4 games last season was a victory  have a Bye Week and are the #1 Seed in the playoffs.  And while people are buying those 'The West is Not Enough' tee shirts, I am just grateful for such a magical season.  Gosh it was fun.  Only losing three games and losing those by a very close score?  It was a fun season, no matter what happens.

I watched every game but one (I attending one this season) with my Mom who, at 98, is a real football fan and Forty-Niner Faithful from 1946.   It was a blast building those memories.   I had such a great time this season.  I am forever grateful.

I learned a lot this past year about trusting God and asking for help.  First the hip problems and the surgery made it necessary for me to acknowledge that sometimes you DO service and sometimes you ARE the service commitment.  My 12 Step sponsor has spent a great deal of time on the road this past year and while I can call her when she is in town I have had to look to other resources for help.

This past December, being so dang sick, I had to really dig deep.  I had to confront that self centered narcissistic whiny part of me that can upend relationships and really make an alcoholic needlessly suffer.   I felt awful most of the time.  That must mean no one loves me, right?  Uh, no...wrong...but that is how the mind can go crazy.

I lost two long time friends this past two months.  One had been one of my sponsees and the other a friend I met through my cousin when I first moved to the valley.  Neither death was expected.  Both people were good, solid people.   Losing them around the holidays was difficult.  It made the struggle a bit more difficult.  Being deliberate in my choices of how to behave and how to focus my prayers and thoughts was what I had to do in order to avoid the pit of depression that can lead to drinking.  Even after 27 years sober it is something that can happen.

The new year is upon us.  I want to do well this year. I want to be proud of my work and secure in my belief that I have acted as God intends someone like me to act.  I want to be solid, fair and real in all that I do.

I am going to do my best to live as a Catholic Out Loud - to vote my conscience instead of what Catholic Radio tells me to do and to stay true to the Teachings of The Church in all aspects of my life.

And I want to model this for the kids - I want them to see a laughing, happy Catholic woman who takes her Faith seriously and does everything with love.....

A tall order, right?

Well, these are my resolutions for the new year - to be the best Leslie I can be and to love loud and have a life that sparkles......

oh yeah....and GO NINERS.

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