God, I hate being sick.
Seriously, if there is one thing I can absolutely claim to be lousy at without any hesitation it is being sick. I can take healing from an injury or a major surgery without breaking stride but being sick? I am not good at it.
I think it's because catching a cold or the flu or the plague of the day always feels like some sort of sneak attack by enemy forces - and I hate those tactics. If you are going to come at me, come straight at me. Don't pull this sneaky-behind-the-scenes- stealth action crap. Just reveal yourself, state your aim and take your best shot. Hello, I am a Flu Germ. I am going to try an implant myself in your system in order to make the next few days absolutely miserable for you. You may now attempt to defend yourself by taking extra vitamin C, rinsing out your nose with saline solution and resting. If you are successful at thwarting me, then well done and I 'll try to get you next time. If you are not, then ah HA! I will win and you will lose some accumulative sick leave you have been guarding in case you need surgery or your Mom needs you or something else happens that requires your attention to not be on work or the office.
It never works like that though, does it? No. The flu germ never presents itself squarely in front of you and behaves with honor. Oh no. It slinks around in the shadows, often sending its little friends - colds and slight allergic reaction - to test the boundaries. Maybe one of them hits you a bit and makes you cough and sneeze for a day to soften your resistance and then KERBLAM! Flu germ is wiggling its slimy way into your bronchial tubes and you are coughing like mad, unable to breathe through swollen sinus passages and tossing and turning rather than sleeping soundly so you can go to the office.
It is times like these, when I cannot sleep because my nose seems to be filled with cement, my ears are hurting and my throat feels as though the inside of it is lined with sandpaper, that I realise how lousy I am at suffering. Oh, give me a big dramatic thing to suffer through and I can conquer it with ease and in full knowledge that all is possible because of Jesus Christ and His Church. Hit me with the flu and part of me begins to doubt the existence of God because I am partially convinced that I am going to feel this bad forever and no loving and merciful God would wish this type of suffering on one of His faithful, right?
Let's face it - a martyr I am not. I am barely a good Christian and I am pretty sure that, based on the evidence that I so willingly provide with my own writings, no one is ever going to suggest the cause for my sainthood be considered once I have left this plane of existence. My admiration for those who face true hardships and sufferings knows no bounds and there is a reason; I am not good at it, and I am in awe of those who are - it is that simple.
So tonight, as I try to rest my throbbing head back on the pillow and get some sort of rest, I am asking a for prayers. Prayers that I learn to accept all God has given me and display the proper attitude of gratitude, no matter what the day will bring. Pray, please, that I be able to suffer the slings, arrows and stuffed up nose of life with a little grace and dignity. Pray, I ask you, that this dang flu bug leave me soon so I can return to work and find other stuff to worry and complain about besides not feeling well.
And pray, I beg you, for my brothers and sisters in Christ around the world - the ones who are truly suffering in the wake of hatred and bigotry and war. Pray for His Church - that The Bride of Christ stay strong and true no matter what happens.