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Saturday, September 20, 2014

Some Other Stuff I have Learned- Maybe

I want to be very, very careful.  My tiny little blog is read by a lot of good but extremely sensitive people and before I try to share what I have learned in the last 24 hours I want it to be understood I am not 'subtweeting'.  This is not 'about' anyone - ok, that's not true.  It's about me.

In the past 24 hours I was told that I am a difficult person to get to know and I think that is a very fair assessment.  I am, despite this online life, a pretty private person.  I always try to look at myself in terms of the bigger picture - the picture where I am but a small part of a greater whole.  Despite any appearances to the contrary I never see myself as all that important and so am usually caught by surprise when I am misunderstood or I inadvertently hurt someone's feelings.  It is a shock that anything I share, think or feel is taken all that seriously by anyone.

When it is, I find initial belief that I need to keep a safe distance between me and the rest of the world a valid one.  What has usually happened is I have taken a chance of opening up myself to someone and sharing an idea or belief.  When it is interpreted as being 'aimed' somehow at them, I am blown away.

Most of this is my responsibility.  I must learn to be very careful when I share.  I have to remember that people (including myself) a bit self centered and so will take the opportunity to personalize something whenever that opportunity presents itself.  Now, that is not a great way to live but it is a part of our fallen human nature and I have been guilty of it myself.

SO - what I have learned in the past 24 hours is this:


  • Do not share with my mother my shock that anyone would consider me an object of envy.
  • Do not share with anyone my theory as to why I cannot meet their expectations when it comes to friendship and behavior.
  • Do not chase after anyone who uses spirituality as a form of punishment for me not behaving according to their standards.
When I share that I think being an object of anyone's envy is ridiculous, I am fully aware that my life is wonderful and that it can an object of envy.

When I share that I believe I cannot meet people's expectations because of the circumstances of my life, I am fully aware that others might think I am making excuses and will not accept my explanation.

When someone tells me they are doing, or not doing, something they previously committed to doing I must remember that I am not in charge of their journey.  

Trust God, clean house and help others.  That is all I can do to protect myself from the disease of alcoholism.

Prayer, The Sacraments, Study and Catechises.  That is all I can do to live my Catholic Faith.

Everything else is in the Hands of a Loving God.

GO NINERS!

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