That being said, I have to tell you that the past week has been chock full of blessings. The love that has flowed my way from unexpected sources has been almost overwhelming. I feel like Sally Fields giving an Oscar speech.
It has caused me to pause and look solidly at what I have lost in the past year (the love and companionship of family members) and what I have gained (amazing friendships and a commitment to Truth). While I understand why one aspect of my life has changed I do not apologize for my past anymore I know why I took certain actions and if the people involved ever choose to speak to me about why I did what I did over 10 years ago I would be happy to give them an explanation. Until that time, I love them and pray for them an hope all is well in their world.
When I was given a gift of gratitude this past week I realized that in the eyes of some I am a failure, but in the eyes of those who struggle in the same way I struggle I am a life line to health and stability. St Paul tells us that, as Catholics, we must try to be all things to all people but my experience is becoming that I will never be able to do that; rather, as those in my 12 Step Program know, I may need to be content to be solid rock to those scrambling their way up from the quicksand that is our ISM(s) and to the others I will just be that weird woman they have to put up with at family gatherings.
That dichotomy will, I believe, serve me well for it will keep me humble.
Humility is a gift.
Thank you, Jesus, for that gift.