Breathe on me, breath of God,
Fill me with life anew,
That I may love the things you love
and do what you would do.
Almighty Rule, God of Truth,
Who guide and master all,
The rays with which you gild the dawn
With noonday heat now fall.
I am a practicing Catholic woman, which means I keep going forward no matter how many times I fall on my face and blow it. When I fall into sin, I pick myself up and take myself to He who heals me. I don't go to Confession because I am 'better than', I go to Confession because I am the worst kind of sinner - the kind that thinks she is fine, fine, fine until something crops up and shatters my high opinion of me.
I am a practicing Catholic woman. I pray the Liturgy of the Hours at least twice a day because I am trying to become a Lay Dominican and because it is good for me. I use an iPhone Ap - iBreviary - because every time I have tried to learn how to use the books my dyslexia kicks in and I get confused.
I am a practicing Catholic woman. I find myself becoming annoyed with those members of The Church who take great pleasure in pointing out how deficient some other members are - I am not talking about calling out 'pro choice' politicians or demanding that the priests and religious at least TRY to live their vows. I am talking about those who decide things like Father Baron's WORD ON FIRE is bad for Catholics because he once did a complete study of Father Thomas Merton and published an article that did not condemn the priest to hell. I am talking about members of The Church who put YouTube videos on line that claim to 'prove' AA promotes anti-Christian beliefs in the Big Book. I find myself wanting to distance myself from these people, rather than take the chance that someone who is not a Catholic will think I believe like they believe. Dare I say it? Those who engage in that type of behavior make me ashamed to be Catholic.
I am a practicing Catholic woman. I have a horrible past, one filled with sinful and drunken behavior. I killed my own children in the name of freedom. I know, deep in my heart, that there are members of The Church who would dismiss me because of that past. I also know, without any doubt at all, that The Church has welcomed me home, cleaned me up and helped me learn to walk towards Light and Truth again. And I am so grateful.
I am a practicing Catholic woman. I pray the Rosary once a day and regularly take the time to stop and beg God to return my family and friends to His Church. I do that not just for their sake but for selfish reasons. My cross is that I am, in many ways, the Last Catholic Standing in my family and I sometimes get lonely for someone who shares my DNA to go to Mass with me. I know that is my cross. I accept it. However, I have a tendency to whine.
All of this and much, much more makes me a Practicing Catholic Woman. I am not ashamed. I am Catholic, Out Loud. I hope others like me will 'come out' and start shouting to the world that they, too, are a Practicing Catholic Woman.
Let us pray:
God of mercy,
this midday moment of rest
is your welcome gift.
Bless the work we have begun,
make good its defects
and let us finish it in a way that pleases
Grant this through Christ our Lord.