In today's prayers at mid day we pray Psalm 13, The lament of the just man who does not lose hope in God.
How many times do I pray with tears in my eyes? How often am I begging God to relieve me of the pain and the suffering I am experiencing? Yet even when I am hurting, I am firmly rooted in the belief and hope that He has not left me an orphan, He has not left me alone.
The Psalm for today goes on:
As for me, I trust in your merciful love.
Absolutely, I do trust in His merciful Love. Not just the love that my Father has for me but in His LOVE - that which we know to be Jesus Christ, True God and True Man. I trust in that Love - for Jesus, as God, is Love - and know that my heart will someday rejoice in the saving help that is Jesus.
I suppose it is normal to not want pain, and only the greatest of living saints welcomed the pain of living. They recognized immediately the gift that God gives us when He gives us the share in the suffering of The Son. I just wish I was a little more extrordianary and could remember, at the moment it is happening, that I am being given a gift.
Most of the time I just think, "OUCH OUCH OUCH STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT".
No, a great saint I am not...and I doubt I will ever have my own feast day celebrated by the Church. But I do get to have a sober birthday.
I guess that will do for now!
Let my heart rejoice in your saving help:
Let me sing to the Lord for his goodness to me,
singing psalms to the name of the Lord,
the Most High.