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Friday, July 15, 2011

I am exhausted...how are you?

I am so tired of the drama but boy am I having a tough time letting go.

Just goes to show you - one can be sober a long time and still not be well.

Ok, maybe that is too harsh.  I don't think I am crazy or even unwell; rather, I think I am an average person who has been treated badly by someone they trusted and I want an apology.

The tough part for me is that I know, deep down, I will never EVER get that apology.

Jesus Christ, True God and True Man, knows exactly what I am going through and that is the beauty of Christianity.  The God of my understanding was lied about and to, and then rejected by people who had flipped over His entrance into Jerusalem one week and then cheered His arrest the next.

I cannot do this deal however, because I am not God.

BUT - I am supposed to try and BE like Him...put on the mind of Christ, be perfect as (my) Heavenly Father is perfect....

AH the difficulty of walking the walk...and not just talking the talk.

3 comments:

chimakuni said...

I am exhausted, too.

Caution - BNWS writing below ...

No, you cannot expect an apology - so stop thinking you have earned one or deserve one!!!

You may however, ask why you think it is so important to get that apology - it is pride? Oh heavens NO! Is it because you WANT to hear those words of apology so that you will be vindicated .. oh dear, hitting on that area of pride again ...

Nope - you CAN live without that apology - you will be fine - you will continue to lead your life with grace and dignity - and THAT is the best "apology"

Love you - BNWS

Leslie K. said...

Oh I think it is pride. And I think it is wrong of me to want that apology because of vindication but that is exactly what it is..and it is the sin of pride. I have virtually nothing of value except my reputation. SO...when someone attacks me at that level and lies about me? OH MAN DOES THAT HURT...but the reality is, I have to be willing to admit that sin and ask for forgiveness. I am not going to get an apology. God knows the truth.

chimakuni said...

there ya go!!! The only opinion that counts is that of God's. You knew that ... The BNWS who thinks the world of you ... and so does Abba!