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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

One more bad habit bites the dust

In one hour, it will be 2 whole weeks since I last had a cigaret.

YAY FOR ME!

As a recovering alcoholic, I have never felt any shame about throwing my 'cigaret sobriety' out the window in case it ever came down to a choice between smoking and drinking. The reality of my situation is that I have never gone to jail behind a pack of Marlboros or a candy bar, so I have a difficult time with 12 step programs that center on cigarets or eating too much.

This is not any kind of condemnation of those programs; rather, it is an acknowledgment that addictions are not all the same and it is an indication of my belief that it is necessary to 'hit bottom' in order to recover. I have a feeling, for me, hitting bottom around cigarets would involve major cancer or even death - at which point, quitting becomes a 'exactly why now?' kind of question.

However, at 2 years sober I had quit smoking and maintained my quitting for eleven years. It was losing my Roddy dog, the love of my life and the dog that helped me recover from being scammed by Rick Seguin, that made picking up a smoke seem reasonable.

Well, it was time to quit. It made me smell and I burned a hole in my driver seat of my car and that is just embarassing. So, two weeks ago I put out my cigaret and prepared for the detox by warning everyone around me.

My friends were very supportive. My mother (of course) was very supportive. My family acted like "yeah, big deal" which I kind of expected since I think most of them had other important stuff on their minds.

SO - now that I am a non-smoker again I can visit the Nutritionist on Friday and begin my weight reform. After I take off 20 lbs, I will visit the next doctor and we are going to get my on the right track with this whole body thing once and for all.

I would like to be an attractive middle-aged woman by the time I retire, rather than a fat, non-smoking, grumbling middle-age woman.

Easter was beautiful. The Vigil Mass went off without a hitch and the visit to the brother's house was nice.

Hope all is well with you.

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