I pray the Rosary six days out of each seven day week. It is part of my prayer discipline and it is a commitment I made about 10 years ago. Some days I pay more attention to what I am doing than other days and I used to feel just awful about that until I read the struggles St Therese had with daily prayers. She sometimes fell asleep during Vespers.
The Sorrowful Mysteries take us through the Passion of Christ and I am usually too ashamed to ever compare my own daily struggles with Jesus' walk to Cavalry. However, a very sane and holy Dominican priest suggested to me that what I face each day can be united to that climb to the cross, if I attempt to meet those challenges with a smile and a determination to not let those around me beat me down.
This is one of the reasons I blog about my stalkers. I don't do it for sympathy or to get attention. Besides, no one ever reads my stuff so it is hardly front page news. I write because it gets the anger and the nasty attacks out of my head and onto a piece of paper - even a virtual one - and sort through all the emotions that go with being outright hated by one of two human beings.
I want to make it perfectly clear that I am very much loved by a large group of people - they support me and keep me sane. However, the relentless attacks by the crazy men can be a bit much. It is one of the reasons I have turned over tracking their behavior to a dear, dear friend. That person keeps an eye on what they post, what names are being used now, and what personal information is being used. I get the heads up and I contact The Bee.
It got me thinking - how sad is it that I am so important to these two guys?
I think about the people who beat Our Lord, who spit on Him and crushed His Holy brow with a crown of thorns. Did they get pleasure out of causing so much pain?
And how sad is it, that people would get excited and reved up over hurting another person?
There was a suggestion made one time that, at the moment in the Liturgy we pray "Lord I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the Word and I shall be healed" that I ask the Lord to heal the wounds that keep me from being the best I can be and to heal them at the very moment those wounds were inflicted. The idea is that, acting outside of time and space, Our Lord can do what He did for His Mother - saved her from the effects of Original Sin and all sin by the virtue of His sacrifice on the cross at the moment of her conception.
So I have been praying that prayer for the two men who are stalking and hurting and going after me. I know that no one behaves the way they are behaving unless they are terribly wounded. I am praying that the wounds that cause their horrid behavior be healed.