Sometimes, I look back over my life as a whole and it can be overwhelming. It is better to look at it one day at a time as AA and Catholicism teaches because it is easier to digest my daily ups and downs. However, at the begining of each year I am always a little surprised that I am sober, that I have accomplished anything at all, that people like me and that I still have a place to live.
This is not really admirable on my part. In fact, being down on oneself can be a form of reverse pride so I have to be careful that I am aware of my gifts and thankful for the grace that allows me to use them. I am grateful for my incredible friends - Stacy, Neil, Kristen, Giselle and all the other wonderful men and women I have met. The St James Group - Lee Ann, Esther, DJ, Macile, Chris.....too many to name!...have saved my sanity and loved me when I could not love myself. Talk about an extended family!
I am grateful for Marla and George, Sue and Jim, and most of all Trace because he 'gets' me enough to let me BE me and respects me enough to challenge me to really think and express myself well....you know, like I just did in that incredibly long sentence with the bad punctuation.
I am, of course, grateful for the new baby in our family (Justin Michael, you ROCK) and that I will get to meet Gordon next year. I intend to remind Natalie and Gordon that Aunt Laura is 87 and it would be nice is she saw another wedding before she died.
How's that for Catholic/Italian guilt?
I am grateful for my job though I do wish E and V were not so mean and hysterical all the time. It is embarassing to watch women in power hit all the stereotypes that people who do not like us to be in charge of anything still use - like mental instability around menopause. It is even more embarassing to find out they may be right and we are goofy for a good 10 years.
I am grateful for Jack and Mt Mom and AE (go Ducks!). I am grateful for Pastel who brings the Right Lung of the Church to the perspective of Christianity. To be Catholic means to be Universal...and these people are Catholic whether they like it or not....tee hee.
I am grateful for my Mother and the fact that she never let being a mother rob her of being a person...rather, she elevated being my Mom to a status of career par excellence and I am so grateful for that!
I am grateful for Debbie and Claire and Denise and Penny, because they are more than just my sober family, they make up my foundation of sobriety. What a gift they are to me. How could I have been so blessed? Who would have believed it, sixteen plus years ago when I was dying that I would have the problems I have today?
My DVD player won't work.
I cannot find The Matrix on VHS.
I have a cold.
YES - those are my problems today...what? HELLLLLLOOOOOO??????
So, may the blessings of Almighty God hit you all right between the eyes and may your problems be like mine....
Please keep baby Chase in your prayers. He has stage 4 cancer and is at St Jude's.