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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Being Catholic even when it HURTS

Oh what a week - and it is only TUESDAY!
I feel like, in the words of my dearly departed Ol'Daddy, I have been rode hard and put away wet.
I am not really sure what that means except it has something to do with grooming horses. I feel more like a pack mule tonight but the analogy will just have to do....lololol....
BUT - in the thickest of the traffic today I got to pop in my prayer CD from CatholicCity.com and pray the Rosary. It makes being stuck on Hwy 4 at 6pm easier to handle. It also causes people around me to look over at the car with surprise, because we are all going so slow that they can hear me praying...not that I keep my voice down, mind you. I am devout - not discreet.

The toughest part of this job right now is the constant changes to my schedule. In fact, this whole job thing really gets in the way of my life, come to think of it. Well, it is like I told Lee Anne - I am an heiress without a fortune, and someone has to pay those bills. Since I keep forgetting to buy Lotto tickets, that someone is ME!

But, if I stop and think about it I am an heiress with an incredible treasure at my feet and waiting for me in Heaven, some day (if I make it, I hope I hope I hope). The treasures today come in the beautiful teachings of the Church, my sobriety, the incredible friends I have made, the blossoming of 'my' children and the silly antics of my pets.

So what if my job takes forever to get to, huh? I mean, I have one - and I live in a place with a double-digit unemployment rate....I am grateful, even if E doesn't really like me and I am not 'shining' in the way I had hoped to shine. As of today, I have 2 years, 11 months and 29 days left until retirement. But who is counting?

God is good...all the time.

If love is what I have always searched for then I cannot deny that, like St. Augustine, I have begun to find it...glimmers of the Love that surpasses all Love. I have people in my life who would look for me today if I were missing...and that may seem like a dumb way to put it but isn't that what every person really wants to know? That we are loved, in a very tangible way.
I understand more than most how regrets can clog up a spirit, but I also know that having a checkered past has given me the ability to be free in a real solid Catholic way...as a sober, dignified woman who walks in grace most of the time..and when I stumble, or my heel gets caught in the proverbial crack in the sidewalk of life, I can adjust my stride and get back to the business of living...one day at a time.

Thank you, Lord, for all I have been given. I want to do You justice...to make You proud of me...to make You pleased that You took the time to think of me every day, every minute, every moment.

Today I am tired and have 133 emails to look at - and what a quality of problem that is, eh?

GO GIANTS!!!

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