Well, it is official. I hate my job and I am a huge whiny baby who should not be allowed to comment on anything, let alone drive a car and vote.
They told me yesterday that I am going to be on this horrible swing shift schedule for at least another month. I do not get to attend my home group, will never get to see my family during the week and barely on the weekends and now have to come up with extra money every week in order to park my car for at least 3 hours.
And E was so pleased with my obvious displeasure (though I must admit, I was so darn dignified I surprised myself) she was nice.
So it is official - I am a whiny baby and I hate my job. I know I know I know....gratitude...how important is gratitude. I am so grateful I have a job - but because of the schedule they have put me on the three most important things in my life have been removed from me - RCIA, my AA homegroup and my family. And that includes the Duffy, Peanut and Pepper Gomezkitty.
E, on an upswing cycle because she guessedI am miserable, was all solicitious...oh, what's wrong? do you need to talk? can I help you? I just told her no and went outside to call my mother, tell her I was now officially miserable and smoking a cigaret (after several weeks of not) and that I hate my job. I came back in, E says, Oh are you smoking again? tsk tsk tsk...at which point I told her, with a smile on my face, that I was smoking but I had just lost 15 pounds so if people didn't like me smoking they could kiss my fat but shrinking Italian ass....so I am sure I will somehow pay for that remark because for the first time in the seven months I have worked there she shut UP. In fact she had the absolute nerve to look SHOCKED...imagine! The woman who adores getting in everyone's face and being a big bully was shocked and surprised when someone said they did not care what anyone thought about their smoking a legal substance that they decided to pay for with their own money, earned by doing a job where the top management consistently changes their minds and makes people like me deal with the consequences.
Nope - I do not hate the people...I hate the job. I am grateful to have a job that I can hate, but I still hate it. I don't think that's a sin but I'll take it to the confessional just in case.
And I do not think for one minute that my putting my foot down (in that general kind of way) will stop E from her abusive ways. Nope. Won't happen. In fact I fully expect her to be gushy and sweet on the trip because her husband is coming along and she will want to look good in front of him.
See, when she is being mean and abusive it is obviously chosen behavior. Why do you say that, Leslie? Because when she wants to be pleasant she can be - like when she is in front of V during a meeting - and that's what Dr Phil would say about the situation. Since he has a television show he must be right.
Duffy could tell I was sad this morning...he would not go downstairs when Mom woke up and came into get him...instead he got out of his kennel, jumped on the bed, went under the covers and snuggled as close to me as possible. It was so cute I had to laugh.
I just finished watching a special HBO documentary on Arthur "Killer" Kane - the original bassist for the New York Dolls. The Dolls, along with bands like the Ramones and Big Audio Dynamite, came out of the original Punk Scene of the 70's - MY scene...along with the new wave stuff of the 80's, of course, because I am so retro-cool. Anyway, he quit Rock and Roll and became a Mormon...reunited with the Dolls for one last show (only 3 of them are still alive at this point) in London and then died about six weeks later. I wonder which planet he is on now and if they allow glitter?
Before the special I prayed the morning Liturgy of the Hours because, as you know, old Rock and Roll Wild Children never die, we just get closer to God.
I am off to San Diego tonight with E for two days of training...then I speak in San Jose Saturday night...Superbowl is on Sunday and back to the sucky job on Monday...Thank you, God, for my life today exactly as it is - I wouldn't change a thing even if I could..
May I please win the Lotto now?