October 13th - Ask for Prudence and Wisdom.

 I spent a week back in Philadelphia with Adrian and a bunch of crazy AKC Dog and Scottie people.  I loved every minute of it.  It meant wet, cold feet, barking dogs, running around as a gopher for the handlers but it also meant being sunk right into the middle of people who love canines and want only the best for whatever breed they have claimed.  For me, it is the Scottish Terrier.  Lola didn't win anything but I still feel like it was a good week because I learned so much.

I was also able to get far away from the drama happening in the recovery world where I live.  That people I once held in such esteem have chosen the path they have chosen, have decided to believe the worst of me, has really hurt.  To have to just surrender all the ugly that is going on there has been tough because I have been gaslit in ways that made me question my own values.  So getting away from these people for a week was soothing for me.  They get to do whatever they want.  I do not wish them ill but I cannot wish them well - they have hurt and will continue to hurt too many people.  A wise priest gave me an assignment of praying for me to forgive them and that I am willing to do.  I do not want their treatment of me, no matter how unjust and hurtful, to keep me out of heaven.

Today I heard a homily by Bishop Barron that got me thinking of what I pray for every day.  I usually pray for my nephew to find a good Catholic woman to marry so that he can have a family and might even include me in it in the appropriate manner.  Today, however, I heard the message of the Original Testament and the Gospel and realize I should only be praying for two gifts from the God of my understanding - Prudence and Wisdom.  

Now I can still pray for Ryan to find the woman who will be the right wife and mother for him but for myself I need to ask for the Grace I need to view Life from the 'vantage point of the First Cause'.  I need Prudence to know what principles need to be applied and Wisdom to know when to apply them.  My problem is I am naive.  I take people at their word and, while my motives may be good, causes me to not exercise my brain as I should.  With the gifts of Prudence (the Queen of the Virtues) and Wisdom, I can grow in the way of The Lord, I have a better chance of joining my loved ones in heaven some day.

So today I ask for God to give me those two things, just like King Solomon. Prudence and Wisdom - let me love these more than wealth, health and acceptance.  Let me love those more than human beings.

Oh...and let me also pray for the Niners to finally win a Superbowl this year.

I'm far from perfect.......