The Laughs Never Stop

Today's topic:  how blessed can one woman be?

This has been a tough year.  Starting with my Niners having the Superbowl stolen from them by that darn Patrick kid (and some lousy refs - okay, there, I said it) 2020 has not been a year I would put on my top ten.  First we lost the end of our school year.  The good part?  I got sent home and got to spend what would be the last 5 months of her life with my Mama and that was good....and she got to die at home which was wonderful.  However, I am without her and still selfish enough to wish she was here so I had someone to talk to when I get home from work.  I got COVID-19.  I have lost friends who overlook being assigned a number at birth, conditioned to walk when a light turns green, told they have to carry a plastic card with their picture on it at all times but are convinced being asked to wear a mask in a grocery store for 45 minutes is somehow the government exerting mind control on its populace.  My favorite tv show did not air its finale.  Baseball season finally started but you cannot go to the games.  I miss my Mom.  My job is changed in such a way that I am pretty sure I am now obsolete.  All my meetings for my 12 step group with the best people in them are online so no hugs for me.  I miss my Mom.

That being said?  I am becoming more and more financially independent, I still have tickets for my Niner game and by golly I look fabulous.   I have had to remove crazy people from my life and that has actually been a blessing.  I am being challenged at work in a way that is both frightening and fun. 

The best part?

Being alone has made it necessary to reevaluate my relationship with God and that means it is now better than it was in January 2020.  Because my relationship with God is better, my relationship with humans is better.  Because my relationship with humans is better, my relationship with my family is better.   Because my relationship with my family is better, I feel stronger and not so afraid.

I can still miss my Mom but I do not have any regrets.  I gave her 28 years of peace and the last 20 of them we had each others' backs.  I can miss her in an appropriate manner - talk with her when I pray in the morning and the evening and take her with me to Mass every time I go.

When I pray my Rosary she prays it with me.  When I meet with the women of my 12 step group she is hovering in the background of my mind, right there smiling at us. 

When I saw the video of JimmyG showing up at training camp I could hear her laughing at the shirt he was wearing and heard her say, "We bounce back, Baby!".  It may look like I will be sitting all alone on the couch this year but I know better - she will be right with me, just like she is sitting next to me in the car at Mass when we drive up on Saturday nights or Sunday mornings.

I have had the privilege of sharing my experience, strength and hope in Tehran, London, Boston, New York and Dublin (California, of course).  I got to speak in China.  I did it all from my kitchen table.  I learned that no matter where we are, people like me have the same hopes and fears.  We speak the same language of the Heart. 

I head into the month of August - the month I usually reserve for honoring St Dominic and my husband who passed away on August 7, 1987.  This year, on that date, I get to go to Mass with our Chapter and welcome 2 new people into the ranks of the Life Professed.

My friend and I will share a podium on August 30 and on the 18th I will share for his group.  On the 12th I get to share in Jerusalem.

All this is share with you now not as a way to brag but as a way to remind myself that as difficult as this year has been the blessings are numerous.  Sure, I lost friends who believe all the Q-Anon nonsense but I would rather fight their crazy with my brand of humor than go quietly into that good night.  Yes, I miss my Mom and yes, even after 33 years I miss my husband and child but guess what people I survived.  I am so very aware of that - I SURVIVED.  By the grace of a loving and powerful God who has had other plans for me I get to live a life today that is second to NONE.

Again, the question is: how blessed can one woman be?

Well, apparently?  Pretty darn blessed.


Now - about that Lombardy Trophy......