In three more Junes I will (hopefully) be able to completely retire. I am seriously praying about whether or not to make myself available as a candidate of some sort for local politics. Perhaps I will run for the City Council, declaring myself a member of the American Solidarity Party. After all I am a fairly intelligent woman, a member of the community who follows the law, pays her taxes and otherwise contributes by being an active participant in various causes, micro-groups, etc. I even have a cute dog that would fabulous on a campaign poster.
I mean, heck - what could go wrong?
Of course, there is that pesky pro-life stance that drives the far left nuts. After all, only a flat out religious fanatic could possibly believe in protecting the rights of all humans from conception to natural death.
Then there is that ugly past I have - the abortions, the drug and alcohol addictions, the sexual misconduct, the arrest for DUI and the other horrific things I did while fully engaged in a pagan lifestyle. My turn around, my 'getting my life back on track' plays well in a Hallmark movie but in real life most of us are as unforgiving as the Salem Puritans. The number of people salivating at the thought of being able to stand up and 'confront me about my past' is really quite amazing - and I am going to tell you that the majority of them who have done this to me (so far, on a very small scale) are Super Liberals who proclaim their love for the Rights of Women. The far-right is just as bad. I get a pass from them because I am Pro-Life and a Fiscal Conservative. Let them figure out that I also believe people have a right to peaceful protest, even if I do not agree with their take on issues and you can bet that they will start throwing mud too. Can't have someone who does not think a man kneeling during the National Anthem is a son-of-a-bitch serving in public office.
I have always wanted to serve my community. I don't know if I would be any good at it because sometimes I don't play well with others. Even now I often want to start sentences with, "So, did you get dropped on your head as a baby?". Apparently, that is not considered a good communication skill. However, honestly? In today's climate I am almost afraid to try. When both sides of the political aisle seems to be populated by goons and malcontents, when the inmates seem to have taken firm control of the asylum and when it becomes more important to sit with the cool kids in the lunch room than it does to be a woman of grace and dignity, people like me just get tired. We also get scared.
I get tired of the screaming and the yelling and the pounding on the table. I am also afraid at how easily I could get swept up in it if I don't watch myself. I can get into some pretty intense discussions with people - in my head, while all alone in my room - so I know I am just as capable of throwing all my spiritual development right out the window in the heat of a moment. Frankly, I don't like being that type of person. I don't think it is admirable at all to be mean or nasty but I would be lying to you if I told you I can't be that in an instant.
The good news is I have three more Junes to decide. No one is asking me to run. No one is clamoring for my attention. In fact, very few people even know who I am and maybe that is for the best.
When I used to get all caught up in whatever was going on around me, my first sponsor (Kenny) used to remind me, "Leslie, there are at least 1 billion people in China who have no idea who the hell you are so calm down".
That is a good thing to remember.....especially for someone with political aspirations.
Keep me in prayer, people. I have three Junes to consider my options.