Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Why St. Peter is my Favorite Apostle

St. John, in his writings, shares an amazing moment with us.  After Jesus has made it very clear to those listening to Him that eating His Flesh and drinking His Blood is the way to Eternal Life most people left.  "After this, many of his disciples drew back and no longer walked with him", John writes.  It was a watershed moment for those people.  Up until then Jesus has fulfilled something inside of them without asking too much. 

Like many today who call ourselves Christian, Jesus has become a kind of quasi-spiritual-guru.  We are quick to quote those sayings of His that don't really challenge our view of reality.  We are REALLY quick to quote sayings that can PROVE those OTHER people are not REALLY Christians.  Catholics are adept at this as are those of our brothers and sisters who reject the idea that Jesus founded a Church.  On social media I read many a thread by Self-Proclaimed Catholics that support lifestyle choices outside of the Teachings.  Woe be to anyone who upholds those Teachings.  I still shake my head in amusement at one woman whose response to being referred to the Catechism of the Catholic Church in answer to a question was "I had a very good priest tell me that the Catechism is only to be used as a guide".  I remember thinking at the time that no good priest would ever tell someone that; for the love of all that is Holy, The Catholic Church is not a 12 Step Program. Someone in a 12 Step program that says the 12 steps are only suggestions and so adherence to them is not required for membership in that fellowship is correct.  Anyone who tells someone that the Teachings of the Catholic Church are only SUGGESTIONS is a danger - to both themselves (their own soul) and to others.

"After this", writes St. John, "many of his disciples drew back and no longer walked with him". 

For me, the operative word in this sentence is "many".  Many is not ALL.  It seems to me that from the very beginning the Church was not going to appeal to every person, despite being available to them.  Jesus knew this.  I believe it is the great sorrow He carries today - the rejection of The Creator by His creatures.  That sorrow and His mercy is amazing to contemplate.  He loves me despite my inability to accept His gifts with my whole heart and my whole soul.  He honors my inherent dignity - a dignity HE bestows upon me as Creator - by not forcing me to love Him. 

It is this aspect of His love for me that gives such poignancy to the question he posed to The Twelve (The Church).   "Will you also go away?".

Will we?  Will we walk away from Him when His Teachings get too hard to accept?  Will we demand that God change His mind, soften His Truth to make it easier for us to hang out with our friends and family around the dinner table?  Will we stay when others leave because the Teachings do not fit their political agenda, their ideology, their need to be 'in the know'?

The resounding answer from St. Peter sums up my attitude:  "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life and we have believed and have come to know that you are the Holy One of God".

He is my favorite Apostle for this reason:  He didn't understand.  He didn't have a full grasp of what Jesus was saying or teaching.  He TRUSTED...at that moment (a moment that would not last and yet lasts forever) St Peter stood tall and said, "I am stuck - WE are stuck. We have nowhere else to go".

This idea - the idea that I have nowhere else to go - is what keeps me in The Catholic Church.  When people - Catholics and non-Catholics alike - vilify Pope Francis, or tell me I am a pagan Christian, or that I have succumbed to the 'laws of men' I shrug my shoulders in the way I imagine our first Pope shrugged his.  Ok.  You are probably right and this Pope is an idiot and Vatican 2 let in all the masons and the Novus Ordo Mass is horrific and the architecture of the churches built in the 1970s suck but WHERE ELSE AM I GOING TO GO?

No other group HAS what The Catholic Church has - the Sacraments....the Eucharist.

SO....if the Pope asks me to consider compassion towards immigrants as a totality of a pro-life stance, I am going to give it some thought and try my best to be compassionate while upholding the laws of the land.

If the Bishops ask me to consider how best to guide those living in a marriage arrangement outside of the teachings so that they can possibly come into full communion and receive the Eucharist, I am going to think on it and try my best to give correct guidance.

If telling a misguided woman that the Catechism of the Catholic Church is not a self-help guide book to health, wealth and prosperity and that she needs to adhere to ALL of it, even if she does not understand (or even KNOW) all of it gets me unloved, unfriended or attacked...so be it.

Like my favorite Apostle, I will stumble and I will fall and I will deny and I will fight and I will ask for forgiveness and I will try again.  I will take this journey one day at a time.

Because...well...

I have nowhere else to go.

No comments: