Expressions

Bloggers are nothing if not clever.  We turn a phrase with glee and really hope people 'get us' in a way that will bolster our own sense of hipness.  Many of us are frustrated stand up comics.  Some of us are actual writers. 

We all are trying to communicate something - our thoughts, our ideas, our experiences or our knowledge - and sometimes we are effective and other times we just make a bunch of you angry.

I am a frustrated writer and actress and performer.  I blew any chance I had at a career in the limelight (and winning those five Oscars - in a row) when I succumbed to the disease of alcoholism in my early 20's.  By the time I sobered up my opportunities in those areas had dried up and I found myself earning a respectable living as a civil servant.

This blog started as a way to share my faith journey with the world.  It has been a source of pride and a source of pain.  I have made friends, angered family members, lost buddies and become the target for small time politicians trying to (first) woo me and then bring me down.

Through it all I have grown considerably in my Faith and in how I handled/accept adversity.  I hope I have matured.  I hope I am no longer hurting my family and I hope my friends are here to stay; however, I have learned not to depend upon either for my self esteem or my security.  My hope and trust is in The Lord and in The Church He founded.  Everyone else pays cash.

The way I express myself has also changed.  I am far from perfect and have been known to turn the air blue when the present QB for my team 'fumbles' the ball by flipping DROPPING it for no reason (before God and everyone watching).  The occasional inappropriate word will fall from my lips if I stub my toe.  No, in terms of language I am far from being saintly and angelic - but I have improved a lot over the years and I am grateful for that, believe me.

If there is anything social media has revealed is that the art of conversation and the art of argument have been close to eradicated from our society today.  People cannot seem to tell you they are upset or lonely or disagree with you without using the 'f' word or declaring an opinion with which they disagree as 'b*llsh&t' .  If one objects they make light of it and blame you for daring to suggest that their inability to make their point without swearing somehow reflects on YOUR lacking something - usually a part of the male genitalia that even women want to have in order to prove how tough they are in the world.

Recently I contributed to a conversational thread started by a well known Catholic Blogger.  He helped coin the cute phrase "Republican Rite Catholic". ( Not to be outdone, I have started using the phrase "Progressive Rite Catholic".  No one is going to out cute me, by golly. ),  I was not disagreeing with the original poster, merely adding my thoughts.  One of his followers, a young aggressive man who sees himself as the Savior of All Things Progressively Catholic, declared something I shared as 'bullsh&t'.

I responded with the appropriate snarky comment about men swearing at women, how he had me quaking in my boots, blocked him from the list of 'friends' I have on that platform and have gone on my merry way.

Be pithy, be funny, be bland but intelligent - I don't care if you disagree with me or not but if you start swearing at me the conversation is over.  You will find yourself placed outside my social circle.  If you want to play in MY sandbox you will play by polite rules and display good manners.  If you cannot do that, then you don't get invited back until you demonstrate your ability to carry on a conversation without sounding like you have been eating take out during the Siege of Jerusalem.

All my early years I was subjected to the bombastic voice of a not-so-good father.  The bad language, the thundering declaration that I (his daughter) was 'full of s&Ht' if I dared to question something he said gave me scars.  I am now a 61 year old sober woman of grace and dignity and I will NOT be treated in that manner anymore....more than once.

If you are happy speaking the language of the streets, that's fine.  If that allows you to feel powerful when you speak, ok.  I am not demanding you change.  I am simply letting you know what I will allow in my world.  If you don't want to be in my world, then fine.  That is up to you - you can leave quietly by the front door and know that my good wishes and prayers go with you.

Maya Angelou once stated that the manner in which someone talks within a home can permeate the walls and contribute to the type of aura or energy in the building.   Maybe.  Maybe not.  What I know is I am happier now that I am trying my best to be gentler in my speech.  It can be tough - like I said, I hate sloppy football - but the rewards are so great.  I just want to keep going.....because maybe, if I keep trying, someday I can be a lady.

And that would be such a huge accomplishment for this girl.