Thursday, April 23, 2015

Vacation Joy

2207 The family is the original cell of social life. It is the natural society in which husband and wife are called to give themselves in love and in the gift of life. Authority, stability, and a life of relationships within the family constitute the foundations for freedom, security, and fraternity within society. The family is the community in which, from childhood, one can learn moral values, begin to honor God, and make good use of freedom. Family life is an initiation into life in society.

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How much fun can one person have in such short a time as three days?

Well, leave it to me - I can have a blast!

I have had a rough few weeks - caused by my own self-pity, of course - so three days of loud, Italian Family interaction was exactly what the doctor ordered.  Starting on Sunday of this week, I have done some minor traveling, some great sight-seeing and eaten in a fabulous restaurant or two. All of this was done with people I love, admire and have such ease and comfort with that it really gave me a chance (once more) to say, "Thank you, God, for my family"!

The week has gotten me thinking about what The Church teaches in terms of the role of the family and I realized that my inability to feel at ease in the world is directly related to the uneasiness of my family life growing up.  Because of the rockiness of emotions brought into every situation (a volatile parent can do that) I am rarely at ease out in the world.  The family is the original cell of social life.  If that original cell seems to flap and shudder in the wind of violence - verbal or physical - the members of that cell are going to take that anxiety-producing experience into the world with them.

While my hard work the last 22 years has made it better for me it has not cured me of this social anxiety.  Because I have chosen to walk this path without availing myself of medications, the path has been a bit rocky.  While I am still behind my choice, I have to take responsibility for it.  If I had, perhaps, decided to take the more convenient route or if I had been more open with people around me as to why I get nervous and scared and anxious and wounded, I might have had an easier time of it - and they may have been a bit more forgiving of me.

It is an interesting dilemma, though, because being that open means trusting people with personal information.  If they have that information, they have an advantage over you, right?  Can't have that - people cannot be trusted.....so the alcoholic is left with a real problem.  If I trust these people they may hurt me.  If I don't let them get to know me, I may hurt them.  If I get hurt I may never recover.  If they get hurt, they may never forgive.

ACK!  What an order!

The Church guides us, therefore, to put our trust in only One Being - the Supreme Being.  That trust, the kind of 'here I am in all my pain and glory, without reservation' trust, is the kind of step we are asked to make in order to recover.  Thus, the objective of both The Catholic Church and an honest run at the 12 Steps are the same - Trust God, clean house, help others - not so you can be crowned Queen of the May but because it is through this simple formula you will find the peace you need to be able to expand your social life.  

The original social cell of my life has changed over the years.  People are dead, they have gone on their own way or they are far away.  I get to look closely around and rejoice in the social fabric of my life today and recognize that while I am far from perfect, I am not a malicious or evil woman.  I have made an honest effort to grow, to Trust God, to clean house and to help others.

Thank you for the wonderful week, Lord.  Back to work on Monday!

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