One of my biggest fears has always been the fear of being left behind - no not in that whole False Theology Kirk Cameron Bad Movie Script way. I mean literally just left somewhere and forgotten. The little old lady living all alone in the house on the block - the one with 19 cats and the giant white Cadillac - would end up being me.
I have made huge mistakes in my life as a result of this fear and the best part of the last year has been learning NOT to repeat those mistakes, to just let things be and learn how to truly accept forever what my role might be in the world. To stop worrying so much about stuff that hasn't happened yet has been a big goal of mine for 2013.
The past five days I have had Thanksgiving Dinner with just one other person and put up my own Christmas lights and by golly I am feeling pretty darn good about the who thing.
Now, let's be completely honest (and shame the devil) and say I attended a lovely dinner on Friday with some of the best members of my family on the face of the earth. I love them to pieces. We had the full on turkey dinner AND got to play with a 3 year old so how cool is life?
However, the past few days has given me more of an idea of what life may be like for me in, say, two or three years.
What I am thinking is this: It was not too bad.
Today I put up my own Christmas lights. I think what I will start doing in January every year is putting aside a few dollars so I can hire one of those companies that advertises putting up lights for people so I do not have to climb a ladder alone. That's not being lazy - that is just being safe.
I also see the value in having a decorating party when I am by myself so I can have people over to help me put up the artificial tree and hang the decorations.
Yes, I think God has really got my back …and I think it is going to be A-OKAY!
HAPPY NEW YEAR, CATHOLICS!!!