Who is the patron saint of dorkiness?
I ask because I am about "thisclose" to chucking any pretense of sophistication for the freedom of embracing my Inner Dork.
I use that phrase with reservation as there is a lot of evidence to suggest I do not have an Inner Dork - I am, simply, a Dork. In fact the veneer I have of being anything other than the fat girl in glasses with headgear for braces, wearing a Mickey Mouse Tee Shirt at the age of 13, is pretty darn thin. I would even venture to say it is transparent.
Tell the truth and shame the devil, right?
What do I mean?
I mean I am always feeling awkward - I do not dress right or wear my make up right and it is a total crapshoot as to the state of my hair on any given morning. I have a big nose that seems to get bigger as I age and I really enjoy playing with my Scottie or my cats. I love watching football and yelling mean things at the opposite team - and then I feel bad if one of them gets hurt too badly and end up remembering them at the next Mass.
I love Halloween and dressing up, think Zombie Movies are Da Bomb and can get lost reading about the lives of the saints. My voice is too loud, my laugh is ridiculous, I have never been called 'cute' in my entire life and I have ugly toes.
I think that makes for a perfect Dork - awkward, loud, shy, intelligent and having little or no clue as to why people think the show Two and A Half Men is funny. I do not think I am creative yet I always have great ideas for movie plots.
I LOVE long and complicated discussions that bore the smithereens out of the cooler cats that occupy my world. For instance, I started what I thought was a GREAT discussion on an article or two in this month's Grapevine. The topic was safety in our 12 step program. I think it was a great discussion, full of wonderful ideas. It went on for a couple of days. Then, out of nowhere, one of the big shots posts how incredibly dumb we all were for still talking about this and how the post was WAAAAYYYYY too long to read. Deflated. BAM. There went my balloon. I was so enjoying reading what the other people I sit around the tables with were thinking about this subject. It never occurred to me that I was perpetuating something stupid.
Anyway...maybe this is why it is better for someone like me to just be alone in the world. I cannot imagine anyone else having to put up with someone as weird as this kid.
Besides, by myself I can call the Green Bay Packers any name I want without anyone saying, "SHHHHH" or looking at me funny.