I have not been able to post for awhile. Too busy. Too much stuff going on around me. Good stuff and bad stuff and stuff in between. Ongoing battles, little triumphs...in other words, the spice that is life itself.
I like that spice. I really do. I know that sometimes I might seem really sad and introspective but I like to think that what I actually am is contemplative and serious - as well as having a pretty good sense of the absurd.
However, I will admit to having a real glaring defect of character and that is my assumptions.
I assume way WAY too much, especially when it comes to my friends. I assume that people look at life and how they behave in the same way I do; that is, by comparing my reactions to things and how those reactions feel and trying to gauge whether or not I would ever want someone else to feel that way.
I am not always successful. Sometimes, I think I am teasing someone and I find out later I have hurt their feelings. It always makes me feel bad, even though the politically correct way to feel is to just shrug it off and make it their responsibility. You know - the modern day, "Hey, how they feel is not my responsibility" routine that so many of us selfish and self centered types grab onto as some sort of example of our incredible maturity and mental health.
I happen to disagree with that, even though I get that one can become WAY too dependent upon other peoples' feelings. I think, because we are human beings with fallen natures, we have a hard time coming up with a proper balance. A proper balance should include a healthy respect for how we communicate, when our humor is appropriate, when teasing is OK and an acknowledgement that while I am not to depend upon someone else's mood or feelings when experiencing MY moods or feelings I should still not run rough shod over them simply in the name of liberty.
In order words, I am autonomous except in matters affecting other people and I need to remember that if I am going to be a healthy, happy and contributing member of society.
Yesterday's tragedy in DC is an example of concupiscence gone wild - mental illness and fate coming together with a handy weapon. Those people who died were victims of a man who saw himself as being the only important person in the room.
I understand we do not have all the facts as yet about the shooter and I have no doubt this man suffered from a disconnect from reality. I am not sure what we could have done to prevent the tragedy from occurring. I weep for the victims and their families.
Today I am grateful that I have a life that has room in it for introspection. I am grateful for the spirituality that encourages contemplation. I am happy to know there is a God and I ain't it.
All in all - I got it good!