I try not to be a stream-of-consciousness writer but some topics lend themselves so well to that format it is difficult to resist. Baseball is such a topic; maybe because thoughts of the game resurrect memories of sitting in the bleachers, enjoying a soft drink, face turned to the sun with an occasional shout of "What inning is it again?" coming from my yawning mouth before I would sink back into that wonderful sleepy haze of "outdoors in the summer". Lazy days, lazy mind, stream of consciousness writing - yes, by golly, they all go together.
My beloved Giants have come from behind to force Game 7 against the dreaded Cards of St Louis. Tonight, while other Faithful Wearers of the Orange and Black are crowded around their televisions, I will be surreptitiously checking my iPhone for the score and praying we make it into the World Series one more time.
Why will I not be watching the game on TV?
I have another commitment. Unless I am ill or someone in my family needs me I do not miss my commitments for a baseball game or a football game or even a nice friendly dinner with Mick Jagger.
I have a commitment, and that is all she wrote.
Lest you think I am some sort of beacon of integrity let me assure you that I have been taught the importance of this mind set through my 12 step program. More than a few sponsors let me know that the way I get a reputation for being a woman of my word was to demonstrate that my word is worth something - and one does that by taking the right action, even when that action seems to be too small to be important. One takes the right action even when no one is watching. One takes the right action ESPECIALLY when everyone IS watching you. Do those three things and it becomes possible to have a fairly good reputation in the world, to walk with your shoulders back and to feel as though you mean something, you matter...and that is how your self esteem is revived.
Last night Giants demonstrated to the sports world that they are a team of integrity. Individuals may have some problems with staying on tract but as a whole, the team is one that does not give into adversity and sees situations where the odds are against them as opportunities rather than obstacles. It is this type of life lesson that team sports used to teach youngsters years ago.
Many times I have wanted to quit something simply because it was so damn hard. I could come up with the best of reasons for never showing back up at class or not following through on an assignment. I rarely did - I can remember walking off one job in my life time and part of the reason I did was that I could not figure out how to thread the shoelaces into the little plastic holes and I was so embarrassed I just left at lunch. Years later, when I got sober, I contacted the company and made amends. They hadn't even noticed I had left until a week later.
The Giants are a great team - win or lose tonight, they suit up and show up and do their best. Some days they play like kings, other days like paupers but they never stop trying and that is the type of person I want to be for the rest of my life.
one day at a time.