I have not heard yet about Tony, though I expect to hear of his passing at any moment. Thank you, all of you, for your prayers. He is in a coma now and I am asking St Joseph to intercede on his behalf to ask Our Lord to grant him a 'happy death'.
This weekend was one of celebration and pain....celebration of my nephew Stephen's graduation from Middle School and pain of a major migraine headache and other various problems that landed yours truly in the ER on Sunday night. Well, the best (the graduation) and the worst (the migraine) are over and it is onto another week.
Once again I am imploring heaven for help in my petition - my personal growth petition of being relieved of the need for approval and applause. There is such a danger on my part to become the kind of Catholic that spends all of her time defending what others do not respect or wish to understand, and quite frankly it is a lost cause.
Then I was given a book written by Anne, a Lay Apostle from Ireland, who has been having mystical experiences for quite some time - experiences she lays at the feet of the Holy Mother Church for review and approval, which means she is not some nut looking to be the next St Bernadette. I have just starting reading the volume 'Climbing the Mountain' and I have been struck hard by one message delivered to Anne from Our Lord and Savior.
"Do not spend your time looking down into the darkness".
We can, He warned, become mesmerized by it. Rather, we need to look up - to Him - towards the top of the mountain and keep our eyes focused on the Light. He promised her that we are heading into a new age - an age of Christian love and happiness - and that the darkness looks fierce but it is, in reality, fading before the wave of Christians He is bringing to the slopes of the mountain. Many of them are just beginning their climb, but beginning it they are and He promised her that all are being drawn slowly and surely towards The Eucharistic Lord.
What hope there is in that message!
So, I am praying now that my gaze be focused upwards and away from the Darkness. I am praying to be relieved of my fascination with those who hurl hatred and bigotry and lies and deceit around and call it progress. I can fight the darkness better if my eyes are focused on Him.
And so I will try...and so I will pray....
And I have begun the rewrite on the script. I LOVE doing this work. I think it is my saving grace, right now, to have it as my artistic outlet. I feel like a big kid...and I am so grateful to Susan for her help and encouragement.