I am draggin' this morning.
Doing the 'double sleep schedule' on Mondays and Wednesdays is tough on me. Monday I go home, sleep for about 3 hours and get up to go to RCIA. I get home by nine and sleep until around 12:15am and then get up to go to work. Wednesday is the same sort of thing only I get up to go to my home group in AA. By Thursday morning at 3:30am I am wondering what my goal is again with this job, why I am doing this, what my entire name is and did I wear earrings that match? Tonight I did do that much, but my name escapes me.
I got another one of those 'sticky notes' from E looking at work I did in May and trying to find fault with it - luckily, this one I have every note as to why I did what I did and it was under her direction. I wrote it all out, made a screen shot of the Subpoena Database and put it back in her box. It won't be enough. There will be a lecture in the morning at 8:00am. Oh well. I suppose I am overdue for one. Afterall, I have felt so good about the work I am doing and the progress I have made - in the phrase we have come to know applies to good times and bad, this too shall pass.
The weirdest part of working in this environment is the apparent need for both E and V to be angry at someone about something. Right now they are mad at a Light Duty Deputy assigned to work here because he isn't working as fast as they would like, talks too much to the clerks and won't turn his paperwork into anyone but the director of HR on the 7th floor. At the risk of sounding selfish, I am glad he is around. I need a break from the scrutiny. Let them dislike someone else for awhile.
This weekend I will be up in Auburn, California, speaking at an anniversary dinner for an AA group there. Dean is going to try and come hear me, which is nice. He will be the first (and, so far, only) member of the St James Group to hear my story.
I don't know if I got to share with them that one of the reasons I agreed to join the St James Group is because of the name. When Bill and Bob were trying to decide what to call this fledgling group of sober drunks hanging tightly to each other, before there was a Big Book or formal steps, they considered calling it something like the St. James Society. They felt that the idea of 'faith without works' being really dumb, as expressed in the Letter of St James, properly defined the basic premise of the group they were starting - don't just sit there, do something. They decided against using that name for the rather startling (at the time) reason that they wanted to help alcoholics who might not be Christian. Pretty cool, when you think about it, because Jews or Muslims might have been a bit reticent about joining a club with that name.
Scott R. passed away last weekend. I found out from Claire on Sunday. He was a marvelous member of AA. A great speaker and one who lived the program to the best of his ability, he struggled for several years against Liver Cancer. He finally gave up the battle last Saturday night. He is at peace now - no more pain and in a much better position to help alcoholics than ever.
Last night, on June 11, we dedicated the meeting to Moose. It was the one year anniversary of his sudden death. I remember the two of us going to the Danville meeting to hear Scott speak. They must be having a great meeting right about now.
I miss Moose. He was someone special. I miss a lot of people, I guess, and I am amazed at how many have passed through my life leaving such love and encouragement behind them. I know I would not be the person I am today without what I learned from them.
Oh well. I am going to eat breakfast now. I am looking forward to noon - I need sleep.